When I was growing up any time my brother upset/hurt/was rude to or downright nasty to me I was told “he’s just doing it to get a rise out of you” “he’s just doing it to annoy you”
Like??? I know?? I know he’s being mean to upset me. I know he’s saying horrible stuff to annoy me. And guess what?? I’m annoyed!!!!
I was literally told not to be upset, because his intentions were to upset me????
How is that not upsetting? Especially to a young girl??
THE GASLIGHTING STARTS EARLY.
As I was relentlessly bullied, I was often told not to react because the reaction was what they wanted, and that they would stop bullying me if I did not respond.
In reality, no, they just tried harder. All the advice ever taught me was to bottle up all the pent up frustration and misery, so ultimately what changed was that no-one knew how badly I was suffering.
Nothing is changed by inaction.
First, they say that if you’re bullied, you must stand up for yourself.
Then, they say that if you’re bullied, you must not stand up for yourself.
I guess they’ll say whatever is a convenient excuse to believe that you deserve to be bullied.
has anyone else noticed there’s a very specific way women interrupt each other in conversation that’s quite distinct from the way men interrupt women in conversation? like, women seem to interject a lot more– not as a silencing tactic, but to show their enthusiasm or agreement, cause they perceive a conversation as kind of collaborative, organic exercise. but i feel like men get really annoyed if you excitedly interject when they’re saying something (most specifically in a debate/discussion context) because they perceive conversation as something combative or competitive and see an interjection as a threat or a challenge. i’ve also noticed men dismiss women’s way of talking as being sort of incomprehensible and nonsensical because of this habit we have of seeming to butt in or finish each others sentences excitably.
this is exactly what research on gender and language in interaction confirms: women’s style tends to be more collaborative, the conversation being the goal, while men’s is competitive - the goal being establishing themselves as the ‘strongest’ or most dominant = powerful #dragged
every single negative stereotype about women was dreamt up by men who were projecting. fight me about it.
“women can’t drive”
It is so well known that women are better and safer drivers than men that OUR CAR INSURANCE RATES ARE LOWER. Women get into fewer accidents, get fewer DUIs, and receive fewer speeding tickets than men.
“women never shut up”
Several scientific studies have shown that not only do men talk more than women, they also think that women have been talking for much longer than they actually have. Men interrupt and talk over women, dominate conversations, and still think women talk too much.
“women are shallow”
Lol next
“my wife is my ball and chain lmao”
Multiple studies have shown that marriage between men and women: Increases male lifespan, decreases female lifespan Decreases male depression rates, increases female depression rates Decreases male stress levels, increases female stress levels Increases male health and happiness, decreases female health and happiness Increases a man’s chance of getting a raise or promotion, decreases a woman’s chances of getting a raise or promotion
“women are too emotional”
Men love to say this about women after hurting them, in order to shift the blame and dismiss their feelings in one go. In reality, women are taught to hold our tongues and control ourselves quite literally from birth. We’re taught to put men’s needs and wants ahead of our own emotions regardless of the personal cost. Men are taught to do more or less whatever the fuck they want to women. Men take their emotions out on women while women are expected to shove theirs down.
I could go on and on but I don’t really think I need to.
“women are shallow” (just read the book, Dataclysm. by okcupid founder (?) that includes data about sex, gender, race, in finding online romantic partners)
hillary clinton told a joke at the al smith dinner tonight. it’s a very simple joke. and these two CNN panelists have completely misunderstood it at every turn. it is making me so god damn angry.
the gist of the joke is “when i look at the statue of liberty, i see all the things that make our country great [blah blah blah.] when donald trump looks at the statue of liberty he sees a 4. maybe a 5 if she loses the torch and the tablet.”
and this fucking moron is saying that the joke is funny because the statue of liberty looks like the number 4.
which is not what that joke is saying at ALL.
her follow-up to this joke was:
“you know what i think a good number for a woman is? forty five”
(because if she’s elected, she will be the forty fifth president)
and this dipshit on CNN is chuckling like “yeah, i think forty five is a good age too”
When sexists don’t understand they’re the butt of the joke because they’ve never heard a joke at their expense imo
A majority of my clients seem to believe that the woman loses her right to refuse him if the man determines that it has been “too long” since they have had sex. The definition of how many days without sex is too many differs for each abuser, but he watches his internal clock and expects access when the alarm goes off. Her decision not to have sex may be respected up to that moment, but then his entitlement tends to take over.
In a typical abusive inversion, my clients often attempt to convince me that they are the sexual victims in their relationships. As one man said: “My partner uses sex to control me, that’s how women jerk men around. Women are the ones that really have the power over men because they know they have what we want the most, and they have the power to shut us out. My wife wants me to be her little puppy dog, begging and drooling and wagging my tail, that’s the only way I’ll get sex.” The underlying attitude comes bursting out of his words: He believes his wife is keeping something of his away from him when she doesn’t want intimate contact. He sees sexual rights to a woman as akin to mineral rights to land – and he owns them.
Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men (via seebster) —
a friend of mine told me about her friend i think from high school who was gay but not out, and he pretended for a while to have a girlfriend named Amanda who he would go see a lot, and they’d be all, come hang out with us and he’d be like sorry I’ve got a date with Amanda, and they were like when are we gonna meet this Amanda??? anyway he kept this up for like a year until he finally came out; and when his friends were like, “wait, what about Amanda?” he said, “IT’S A MAN, DUH.”
i have literally never admired anyone’s commitment to a joke more
